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Nuke Duke-and-Them Forever

duke-nukem

Now personally I haven’t played Duke Nukem Forever. But this hasn’t stopped it from being a pretty large part of my life over the last couple of weeks. Why? Well as anyone who frequents game forums and news sites will tell you, people are talking about it. And they don’t stop talking about it.

And the worst part of all? Everything they say is bad.

Now I remember Duke Nukem very sketchily from playing it on my older brother’s original PlayStation. I would have been about 9 years old at the time, playing it with my then-7-year-old little brother. In fact, I clearly remember asking my older brother what an RPG (not the Roleplaying kind) was. You could say my the foundation of my knowledge of Rocket Powered Grenades is thanks to Duke Nukem.

So when I heard they were finally releasing Duke Nukem Forever this year, my interest was tweaked. I wasn’t necessarily counting down the days but I was definitely interested in where the series would go.

That was then. Now, I don’t really care where the series has gone. I don’t even really care if the game is that bad. I just want to stop hearing about it.

Somewhere between the initial scandal of Jim Redner tweeting that “Too many went too far with their [Duke Nukem Forever] reviews…we are reviewing who gets games next time and who doesn’t based on today’s venom”, to the massive community backlash resulting in his being dropped from 2K as a distributer, to his long winded non-apology-apology in which he declares that “[an unnamed journalist went] too far [and will] have to pay for his actions”, I got bored hearing about what can almost unanimously be declared a mediocre-at-best game.

Then we have the all the reviews of Duke Nukem. Now I can say some mean things sometimes, hell it’s usually pretty fun to trash what others have put such hard work into. But these reviews are approaching ridiculous so fast that I feel like I should be holding my hands over my ears and chanting “YOU CAN’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER” over and over instead of reading them.

I mean, I understand there is 10 years worth of hype for this game. But am I the only one who realised that when a project gets drawn out over a long stretch of time, bouncing between people involved, engines involved and systems its being designed for, that the end product would have to be pretty miraculous for it to be a success?

What was the last project like that again? Oh that’s right. Dragonball Evolution. ‘Nuff said.

This may seem like a pretty random rant but my point is this: At first I wanted to review this game, see if it really was the Antichrist that so many people insist it is. Now I don’t really want anything to do with it (yes I understand the irony of publishing an article on it).
Even the news that I can download it’s free demo from Steam or Xbox Live (with PS3 version on the way) doesn’t really inspire me to try it.

I’m over Duke Nukem, and I didn’t even get the chance to play it. Which I think is pretty sad.

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2 Comments

  1. Hansen

    You forgot the sexism. The sexism is pretty blatant and unforgivable. Duke's groupies essentially gets raped and he makes a joke about it and then they die. I mean even in the context of videogames which is a pretty sexist medium, that goes kind of far.

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  2. game

    Yeah as I said I haven't played the game so I'm not in a position to judge whether the sexism is appropriate (although that does sound pretty bad).

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