Top 4: Worst Consoles of All Time
Following last week’s top 5 list of some of the best consoles (in my opinion, always in my opinion) of all time, this week I thought I would counter myself with a list of their complete opposites – the worst consoles I could think of.
Problem is, I could only really think of four consoles I was willing to trash talk about and I didn’t really feel like stretching to a fifth just so that the title would work – so you guys are going to have to suck it up and deal with a Top 4 list instead this week.
Although considering most of you will probably be offended by half the names on this list (or half the names that aren’t on this list) I don’t know why I even bother explaining.
Anyway let’s get into some opinions right guys?
4. GameCube – Nintendo
I can practically hear the boos as I type this, I know the GameCube is a childhood favourite for many a gamer. And realistically, it had a decent library of games to go along with it – something even I can’t fault Nintendo for. The problem is, this little console with its miniature disc reader cost more money to make than either the PlayStation 2 or the original Xbox – both of which were more powerful than it (as well as both functioning as DVD players). Smart money says, Nintendo has to charge more for less and people don’t like that. Which leaves Nintendo behind in the dust, bad call bro.
3. PS Vita – PlayStation
Ah the PS Vita, kind of like the PlayStation Portable but with half the games library and none of the novelty of the appeal. I mean, sure Sony did a lot of work on it to make games run smoothly and look excellent as well as integrating online with your PS3 system – the problem was there just weren’t enough reasons to go out and buy this over the reigning king of handhelds, the Gameboy. And by not enough reasons, I mean not enough games. Don’t take on Nintendo where they are strong and expect to win with that kind of weak noise Sony – at least get a full lineup booked before you try to takedown games like Pokémon.
2. Wii U – Nintendo
It saddens me to put a relatively new console on this list but damn Wii U you have earned your place. We are officially in a three person race for the console generation at this point and despite a 12 month head start you are clearly coming last. I don’t know if it’s the lack of games, the lack of launch advertising or the fact that 90% of the world still has no idea you exist – but wow did you destroy the good rep (and money) Nintendo made from the Wii really damn quick. I have no doubt you will turn it around in a year or two when we have Super Smash, Mariokart and Zelda to enjoy but for now you deserve this spot.
1. Dreamcast - Sega
And the number one spot is for the console that killed an empire. Sadly I don’t think the Dreamcast really did much wrong. It was a strange child of a games console, very Asian in its appeal and game library but very unique in its own way. I still remember hours of Crazy Taxi played on it. Unfortunately it was just a little too weird, too expensive and too weak to compete with today’s modern mega companies – and its faltering sales are what dragged Sega out of the console game forever, delegated to making games for their onetime rivals in eternal servitude. R.I.P.