Top 5 Badass Bosses
Another week, another Top 5 list. This week’s candidates? Badass bosses, creatures of legend be it due to their difficulty, their appearance or just how memorable and original they were. Now it goes without saying that this list is my personal opinion and comes more or less right off the top of my head so there is no need to send me angry emails which say “bla bla you forget such and such and now I hate you etc” (or I wish it went without saying, but apparently here I am saying it). Anywho, let’s get right into it with some of my favourite Badass Bosses of all time.
5. NT-3000 – JSRF (Xbox)
Some bosses in this list are here because I almost broke my console playing them, and some are here because they were just so damn random that they couldn’t help but lodge in my memory. This is one of the latter. Now JSRF was a pretty weird game to start with, not only is it Japanese (the strange capital of the world) but it’s a fusion between rollerblading and graffiti – which isn’t exactly your average game compilation. Anyway NT-3000 was some kind of weird fusion between CEO of the Rokkaku Group Rokkaku Gouji and the odd powers of his space towers, and it looked almost as weird as its fight was – taking place on top of a skyscraper in a nether realm made of discarded lamp posts and billboards. I really can’t convey how weird this is in writing, so you’ll have to take my word for it – but weird or not, NT-300 makes the list.
Also JSRF rules. Look it up kids.
4. Master Hand – Super Smash Bros. (N64)
Another one for the weird column, Master Hand makes this list because of his relative difficulty and just how original a creation he truly is. I mean, it’s a ghostly glove puppet that you fight with on a platform in space following a specific set of moves – all of which are deadly. I’m not sure if he was out of place in Super Smash, which is a platform fighter for better or for worse, or if he was so unexpected that he was perfectly suited to finish off the campaign section of this cult classic. Either way he lodged right up in my nostalgia file and makes the list on merit alone.
And of course there is the concept that you are playing with your hands, versing a hand, while you control your character with your hands, and he is the Master Hand (which implies control). It’s a metaphor I appreciate.
3. Tartarus – Halo 2 (Xbox)
Alright were out of the weird part of the list and onto the bosses which were as difficult as they were inventive. First off the block, Tartarus, the surprise finish to Halo 2 and the only real “boss” the series has had to date (the end boss of Halo 4 is a quick time event so it doesn’t count, and if I just spoiled that for you – believe me, you should prefer knowing in advance). Not only was the area you were fighting in treacherous in the extreme (basically a multi-layered orb floating in a giant cavern) but the cleave on Tartarus’ massive hammer was enough to send many a Spartan cartwheeling off into the void. Also he was the chieftain of the Brutes and head of security for the leaders of the Covenenant – which demands a certain amount of respect.
You were a worthy adversary Tartarus, I salute you.
2. Executioner Smough and Dragon Slayer Ornstein – Dark Souls (Xbox360 + PS3)
Did I say difficult? That means it must be time for one of the most controller destroying bosses (or boss pair) of all time – Smough and Ornstein. This cunning tag team of a giant hammer wielder, Smough, and a fast knight with a lightning spear, Ornstein, can kill an unwary player in seconds – and kill a wary player in shortly longer than said seconds. The first of these bosses to fight indoors, the closed in great hall in which you battle may be bedecked in pillars – but there isn’t much room to hide, and the wide swings of Smougs hammer and the fast stabs or Ornstein’s spear are a recipe for destruction which any Dark Souls player is familiar with. If this list was ranked on difficulty, instead of some strange criteria I’m making up as I go along, these two would be on top – as it is they are just badass enough to take silver, which I’m sure is still impressive to someone somewhere.
Or not, whatever.
1. Demise – Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii)
And the title of most badass boss off the top of my head while creating the list for this week goes to… Demise from Skyward Sword. Sure he may be large and easily defeated in your first two encounters, but by the time he assumes his final form (Frieza style) for the end confrontation he is a foe which demands both respect and unerring accuracy from your wiimote – the latter much harder to achieve than the first. Maybe it’s because he slashed his way through my entire health, a health potion and a fairy in about 3 hits, maybe it’s because he just looked so damn badass in his chosen battlefield of stormy clouds upon a reflective surface (is it a still lake that we somehow fight on top of? I don’t know, so I’m not going to make that claim, but it sure looked awesome). Either way that fight has stuck with me throughout my travels and I’m more than happy to give it the top spot for this week’s list.